


Pun Party

by LittleBat



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Halloweeen, Party, Reader is gender neutral, and now i need to write it, but this popped into my head, i have like 5 other stories, sorry - Freeform, stupid pun, that i should be working on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 03:46:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBat/pseuds/LittleBat
Summary: You meet, and break, a certain skeleton at a friends halloween party.I know that summary sucks but it's just a cute little idea that popped into my head. Just read it.





	Pun Party

**Author's Note:**

> This is an unedited little thing that happened. There was no planning or thought put into it, other than one line. I wrote this whole thing because one line popped into my head and refused to leave. Guess which line!

Sans didn't want to be here. The party that mettashit had thrown was in full swing and the skeleton wished he could be literally anywhere else. Hell, even Snowdin seemed like a good alternative to the over-crowded mansion. The only reason he had shown up at all was for Papyrus. The taller skeleton had shouted, read as 'shrieked', with excitement when they'd gotten their invitations. October was spent with the skeleton brothers working hard on a costume for the younger, which turned out pretty well.

Papyrus, in his usual way, frolicked through the party. His outfit, a fully functioning Iron Man armour, was a massive hit. They hadn't put in any weapons or flight abilities, but everything lit up like it was supposed to, and looked fairly realistic. Not having to rely on trash really helped with the final product. That and Alphys also let them use the machines she had used to make Mettaton. Sans costume was simpler, a black robe and scythe. The invites had said costumes were mandatory, and Sans had chosen the store bought outfit to appease the host.

Speaking of, said robomonster, dressed up in a flowy white dress and blonde bob wig, was schmoozing onto the red and gold impostor and Sans had to turn away. His brother was a grown monster, capable of making his own decisions, but that didn't mean Sans had to like it. The whole reason he was here was to make sure nothing funny happened to his bro, and make sure the calculator respected his boundaries. Papyrus had never tried alcohol before, only just becoming a full adult, and Sans would be watching out for him as he learned his limits. 

Since watching Papyrus had turned cringeworthy, Sans turned his attention to the crowd in front of him. There was a plethora of 'sexy' costumes, mostly worn by the humans in attendance. To his amusement most of the monsters were dressed up in uniforms of some type, dressing up as a human instead of a monster. It was their first Halloween after all, nearly a year after the Emergence. They didn't quite get the idea, but enjoyed the holiday even still. The mood of the party was fun and playful, Napstablooks tunes providing the perfect ambiance. Sans chugged his bloody mary, relishing (heh) the ketchupy taste as he pushed away from the wall he'd been leaning on. Even if everyone else was having a good time, the crowd was too much for Sans to handle without a drink in his hand.

With that in mind, Sans started making his way to the kitchen for a refill. It wasn't easy working his way through the crowd, every monster he passed greeting him and enthusing about his costume. Maybe he was a bit of a grump, but Sans didn't want to harsh on their parade and responded in kind. Since monsters came in all shapes and sizes nearly every costume was hand made, giving a whole new level of appreciation. Yes, this monster was in a simple set of scrubs for his nurse costume, but take into account that he had an extra set of arms and frills going down his spine and Sans couldn't help but be amazed. Being humanoid in shape had it's perks, but he could really appreciate the creative tenacity of other monsters. 

What would have been a two minute trek to the kitchen ended up taking almost forty minutes. With all the greetings and conversations, plus the crowd pushing him around and making Sans lose his sense of direction more than once. The kitchen, by unwritten party rules, was a calmer quieter environment for those needing to escape the hectic party. A few people hung out in here, nursing drinks and having quiet conversation. Once past the threshold the music noticeably dimmed, thanks to some runes drawn around the door, and Sans let out a sigh of relief. 

Along the back wall was a counter serving as the bar for the night. There was no set bartender, though Grillby had been invited to do so, and so Sans set to work making his drink. It was heavier on the vodka and tomato juice, with a splash of hot sauce and brown sugar for flavour. The celery garnish was ignored completely, he couldn't stand the vegetable at all. It didn't look as pretty as it could have, but Sans didn't mind. While he had been making his drink he'd felt someone come up beside him, but had ignored them. Now, with liquid fortification in hand, Sans turned to inspect the new costume.

For a moment he was confused, taking in your whole outfit. You were wearing comfortable runners and some black skinny jeans, but on top was something strange. A giant white foil square, starting from just below your waist and going to above your head, and equally as wide. There seemed to be a ring of some sorts going around the center, where your head and arms poked through. A proudly waving red flag proclaiming 'French's' was painted below your head, with a bright tomato nestled beneath that and between your arms. There was some smaller writing beneath that, and some smaller foil packs taped along the edges of the costume, but Sans didn't even see them.

He must have made some type of noise for you looked up, straight at him. Sans watched as confusion flashed across your face before being covered by a shit-eating grin. You were beautiful. He couldn't say anything as you took a sip of your recently finished drink, something orange and fruity, before you finally took pity on him and spoke first.

"I'm a condom-ment. Get it?" 

Sans lost it. He barely noticed you catching his drink as he dropped it in his laughter. No polite chuckles either, fully on belly laughs and gasps for breath. Sans didn't get to see the shock that crossed your face, nor the pleased grin and blush. He must have looked like a loon, but you only paused for a second before joining in. Thankfully you had the foresight to put both glasses down. Meanwhile Sans had bent over with the force of his laughter, arms wrapped around his stomach as he leaned back on the bar for support. His laughter was so infectious that soon the whole kitchen joined in. Every time someone started to calm down they would simply look at someone else and be pulled back in to the laugh attack. Pleas for mercy, swears, and 'oh man his face' could be heard gasped out, and they only made the laughter worse.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of laughter, many fleeing from the source in an attempt to save their sides from hurting. Sans had slumped onto the ground, taking a few gasps to calm himself down. When he eventually felt like he wouldn't start again, he looked up at you. Your face was flushed from laughter, tears of joy beaded in your eyes. A few had even escaped down your cheeks. He met your sparkling eyes, matching your grin with his own. One that didn't feel forced for once. Another giggle escaped him, causing you to preen a bit as you offered him a hand up.

"stars. marry me." Sans mouth spoke before he could think about it, his bony hand grabbing yours. He watched for you to flinch away from his touch, waited for the inevitable disgust, but instead you wrapped your fingers around his.

"At least buy me dinner first." You pulled him upright with surprising strength, blushing a bit as you returned his flirt. Sans felt his face heat up as well, unconsciously tightening his hold on you. The rest of the party seemed to stop existing, the two of you in a private world. You didn't notice the laughter your comment brought from the watching crowd, Sans didn't notice how his brother had poked his head into the room at some point and was now watching with a gentle smile. 

"i'd like that.'

**Author's Note:**

> I have at 2 other main stories I should be writing, and a couple side stories. Unfortunately I'm going through a low point depression wise, and just lost my job so things aren't too good rn. But then I got this stupid little idea in my head and needed to get it out there. Hopefully writing this will bring back my mojo. 
> 
> Not really sure about the ending, but it's cute to me so deal with it.
> 
> Btw, this link is what I was thinking of for your costume. Except, y'know, ketchup. Also, since I'm Canadian I use French's ketchup as opposed to Heinz. So your costume is French's.
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/236x/74/8d/04/748d04e7f8abe60a9b02d8ec10a98579--condom-costume-tv-box.jpg
> 
>  
> 
> As always, comments and kudos fill me with joy and help me write more. Until next time, cheers!


End file.
